Relationships are hard work

Well, mine is anyway. I know it's been awhile since I added to my page. Not much has happened. Just the usual work, sleep, fight with Jr Her, fight with Him. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Until Sunday. Seems Him has been a little upset with our relationship lately, and after a day of snapping at each other, he has moved out to the caravan. He was actually going to pull the van out, and had "the talk" with our daughter saying as much.

Well, after giving it a lot of thought, he has decided to stay in the van but still in the yard for the time being. To be honest, he would probably be back inside but I suggested during a late night talk Sunday that perhaps if he stayed in the van but left it in the yard we would be able to communicate better. If we went back to normal all the old issues will still be there.

We had the opportunity to air our grievences, which helped get a better understanding of where we were heading. I get stressed because my job is stressful, then to come home and be the only person doing housework and cooking and dealing with a very pigheaded pre-teen, it's not fun.

He was feeling left out of the family, as Jr Her would go into one room to watch TV, I would be on the computer because there was nothing to watch on TV, and he was left alone in the kitchen or on the bed.

Perhaps I should explain a little further. He is back on night shift. That means we have either already left for the morning when he gets home, or we are literally on the way out the door. We try not to wake him when we get home, but often he is awake anyway, and I am doing the usual stuff - washing off the line, check the emails, take care of any phone calls that need to be taken care of, fighting with Jr her. I don't go in and spend time with him. Then I cook dinner. He doesn't like to eat too early so I put his aside and Jr Her and I eat alone. Then, I am sometimes watching TV or reading, and he is alone in the bedroom, waiting till it is time to get up and go to work.

So our paths don't cross very much. He has been working six nights a week so he sleeps on the weekend and doesn't want to do much except potter around the house.

Now, I understand he feels lonely, and I understand that he has forgotten all he ever knew about cooking. We have talked some about him helping in the kitchen or heating prepared meals for me. We have discussed spending more time together on weekends as a family, cooking or going out somewhere as well, but I think we need to actually put a plan in place.

Maybe the couple of hours we can grab tonight while Jr Her is at guides will help...

IT Updates

So, after putting me off yet again, twice more in fact, I finally managed to see him yesterday.

The problem with that is, it wasn't convenient. In fact, my office mate had even locked the door in case he "dropped in". He stood me up on Thursday, and sent me an email saying sorry, he would be there 12.30 Friday. Well, surprise surprise he didn't show, and didn't call.

Imagine the tizz my office buddy got into. That man presses her buttons something chronic! If it weren't so enraging it would be hilarious actually. One only has to mention IT and it send her face purple. haha.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes. Yesterday, about ten past ten, up he rocks, no apology, no explanation, nothing. Just waltzes in and expects us to drop everything and cater to him.

I gave him my list of expectations, most of which he just brushed off with some lame comment, which I think meant he couldn't fix them, and quickly repaired a couple of other minor issues. My office buddy was on the phone or we would have looked at her computer to see just what I was babbling on about.

We did agree that when the new edition of Office comes out this month we would look at upgrading my Mac, but at what charge I am wondering. Boss can figure that one out. We also agreed that he would look at upping the spam filters on Boss and Office Mate's computers as they get 100+ junk emails per day.

Anyway, after all this, we set a new appointment time for Monday, at which point I asked him why he kept fobbing me off. I reminded him I pay him as much as his other customers, but he doesn't put them off like he does me. What did I ever do to him? Point taken, he replies. I may fob you off again, says he, but I will phone next time. Thank you, says me.

After all that, office mate cracks a mickey, why does he need to come back at all? do we really need to set up this new programme before Boss gets back? Well, leave the IT geek to me, and I will make executive decisions. Live with it. But anyway, at the end of the day, I asked him to bring the printer cartridge with him when he came next. He sends me an email suggesting I can buy it from this particular store, and they will deliver.

I reply emailed with "Thanks for that. You told me when you dropped off the printer manual that you would look after that, that it was your job..." Will be interesting to see what he says about that...

Why are IT geeks always arrogant?

Ours is. He is one of the most arrogant pigs I have ever met. We pay him a fortune for 24 hour service. Hah! He wouldn't know service if it bit him on the butt! And rude!

For instance, I have been trying to get him in here for well over a week. By the time he comes it will be close to two. He is unreliable, doesn't phone if he can't keep an appointment, shows up when he feels like it, and irritates my office buddy to the point where she will schedule time off when she knows he is coming.

I phoned him in September to come on the 25th. He didn't show. I phoned him on 26th, and his only response was that he was tied up. No apologies or any such thing. He promised to come on 27th. He didn't, nor did he phone.

On the 26th I had, at his request, emailed him a set of documents which we were experiencing communication issues with (I have a Mac and the rest of the world has Microsoft). He has a Mac, so of course they were going to open on his computer. On the Friday, 28th, he emailed me to say of course he could open them, and why was I sending picture documents anyway? I need to send PDFs. Perhaps, but our client (who pays our wages) asked for picture documents...Who am I to argue with them?

Anyway, on Friday I was forced to phone him as I still had not heard from him. He simply said he had car issues. Not my problem, how hard is it to pick up the phone??? He said he could come that day. Not suitable for us, come next week, and this time, phone and tell us when you are unable to come, yes? I send him a reminder email with the agreed time.

So today, about 25 minutes before the appointed hour, he phones (minor miracle!!) Guess what? He wants to reschedule because he has to be at Wingfield at 1.20. Again, not my problem and when I remind him he has put me off several times already, he laughs and says "I know"...yet, here I sit again, with a vague promise to come either at 3.30 today or "first thing in the morning". I am so angry that I am just cast aside yet again, and even that I am the one who has to deal with him as my office partner is pregnant and cannot deal with the stress levels he inflicts on her. Sigh...bloody IT geeks. So much for 24 hour service....

Happy Birthday To Me

Well, actually it was yesterday but I haven't had time to write anything till now. Big 4.0. You know, I don't feel it. I actually feel quite good. A little tired but now I am officially middle aged, that is to be expected!

I have had such a wonderful time. It started Friday afternoon, when I won a Foo Fighters pack. Not that that is really exciting, but to win anything is quite a buzz. It had a CD and Tshirt. Nice.

Saturday was my birthday party. Now, I am always one for a good party, and when people offer to bring stuff, so all I have to supply is the meat and bread rolls, even better! I had lots of plates of nibbles, which I think is always the best bit anyway, and a lovely friend stopped by only to drop off my gift and her two salads, (potato and coleslaw), and a big bowl of chocolates for dessert. Lucky she did cause the promised Greek salad didn't appear...but that's another story.

We dined on lovely snacks, marinated bbq steak, sausages, chicken skewers, and rissoles, bread rolls, and salads, sat around chatting and then I was told to sit and stay. Being a good dog, I did just that! A couple of lovely ladies cleared most of the dishes away, and then the lights went off.

Only to be replaced by the bright glow of 40 candles. Followed closely by Him with the fire extinguisher...

The cake was organised by my friend and neighbour, who I will call Sally (see previous posts). I will try include a photo in my next entry. Shall I tell you what it looked like anyway?

Well, we cut the cake, dished it out (leaving about 2/3 still in my fridge...) and then it was over by about half past eight. Good thing about starting a party at four!

Jr Her had a couple of little girlfriends stay over (never, never again!) and after a few squabbles they finally went to sleep just before twelve.

Next day was quiet, the girls got up and under duress cleaned up Jr Her's room and their bedding in the lounge. One went home and we took Jr Her to the other's house, where she was sleeping the night. After coffee and a chat Him and I drove to the tram station, dumped the car and boarded the tram for the city.

We walked up a few streets to the Rendezvous Allegra, 5 star, very swish. About 5 minutes after booking in (to a room on the 18th floor!!!), the concierge arrived with chocolates and a rose. There was wine in the fridge but we kept that for later. We lazed about the room for awhile, paid $17 to watch Spiderman 3, and waited for our masseuse. He arrived while the movie was on, and I think was watching it while massaging us. It was terrific!

After that we wandered a couple of streets north and found a little pub. Hot garlic bread, and a couple of drinks later we went back to the room, took a bath, and after tarting ourselves up (and watching Burkes Back Yard) we went back out to find somewhere to eat. The place at the casino I wanted to go to was closed (being Sunday), but another nearby was open. Dinner was delicious, and after we put $20 through the pokies.

About 11pm we walked back to the hotel, and got to bed about midnight. I, as always, woke up at the crack of dawn so I read for awhile, showered, made myself look reasonable (it was, after all, driver's licence photo day). When Him crawled out of bed some time later we wandered down to breakfast, which was included with our room. Cooked breakfast, with all the trimmings. Very nice.

When we had finished, we went back upstairs, collected our goods, and checked out. $307 later we made our way back to the tram. We picked up the car, went and got my licence done, then went to the house Jr Her stayed at the previous night to collect her stuff.

The, as the weather was lovely, we pottered about the back yard, doing washing, preparing the van for our weekend away (if the car gets fixed in time, but that's another story).

While we were waiting for Jr Her at the school my boss sent me a text message from France (ooh la la)which I thought was lovely! When we got home they wrapped my presents while I made some snacks. We settled in the lounge, and Jr Her proceeded to unload my presents onto me one at a time.

I have never felt so spoiled in my life. I received some of the loveliest gifts I have ever been given. perfume, frogs, vouchers, jewellery...and Saturday night seemed to be Frog Gift night. I am very blessed with friends and family.

After a dinner of chicken wings and baked potatoes, we had more cake with candles. Better get back to my diet again - I think I have lost about 2kg in the last week, which is excellent!

I do consider myself very blessed. I couldn't help but feel sad on Saturday though. Here I was planning one of the big events of my life, and none of the close family and friends I would normally spend it with were here to share it with me. I did have lots of good friends to share my day with, but it would have been just perfect with my family and friends from Queensland to share the day with. But those who did share it with me, THANKS HEAPS!!! I HAD A BLAST!!!! Those of you who weren't, you missed a great party! haha.

Oops...

Well, the unthinkable has happened. The new car is now less than perfect. As you can see, I have broken the beast.

Well, when I say I, I mean We. See, I was in the Bunnings car park on the weekend, buying pipe for Him, and after a long day, and in the midst of a terrible headache, Jr Her and I were on the home stretch. A blue car went past, and when it was clear I reversed.

However, so did the blue car...

While I was checking out the front of my beast to make sure I didn't hit the car beside me, the blue car decided they liked a particular car park and reversed up to claim it. Obviously neither of us were looking at that instance.

Poor Jr Her was in tears (her first accident) and the other driver obviously thought I was at fault, cause he was rather gruff and abrupt. I kept saying "you had gone! You drove past!".

Finally, at the end of our conversation he admitted to me he had seen I was ready to pull out, but chose to reverse back to the car park anyway.

It turns out our police reports are almost identical, except for the minor fact that he put the blame onto myself (of course). Why?

He is a cop....

Pain? What Pain?

What is it with kids that they only feel pain when it suits them? Jr Her has hurt her hip. She actually did it a few weeks ago during a Jump Rope For Heart thingy at school. At her last school she was on the jump rope jr's team, and one of the best, I might add. We were very proud.

When she started at her new school two years ago she was mortified they didn't have a jump rope team. The seniors at her old school actually competed against other schools. Well, along came the Jump Rope for Heart event and she had a chance to show the other kids how good she really is.

But then came the pain. For a couple of weeks I convinced her she had pulled a muscle in her hip. Sometimes she would be almost in tears, but still I thought it was a torn muscle. So, after being told on no uncertain terms that she wanted to go to the doctor, I relented (being the good mother that I am) and took her to the physio.

He poked and prodded, twisted and bent, until he suggested she had a weak hip, a common condition in young girls between about 8 and 12. Something called Perthe's. Anyway, I was to take her to the doctor to get a scan done. So off we go to the doctor, and she has another poke, prod and twist, and writes up the paperwork. When we got the x-rays back, they asked if she had ever had surgery cause there was something on the pictures. Looks like a piece of cotton to me, but who knows?

Then, back up to the doctor we go, to be seen by yet another health care professional, although this one had a wicked sense of humour. He asked Jr Her if she could walk like Carlie Chaplin. She did, he told her she had to walk like that all the time now. Just joking, says he. When asked if she could get out of karate, he said he had a black belt. Then proceeded to lift up his shirt, and comment that it wasn't black it was brown. Funny guy.

Anyway, turns out she has Bursitis in the tissue around the bone. He said she will be out of action for about six week. Six weeks of no karate she says! It hurts too much to do karate!

So being the good parents we are we let her off for the last couple. Her school had it's sports day today, and she was really looking forward to competing in almost everything, including some running that would have once made me blanch (being the sprinter that I was, anything over 100m was just tooooooooo far...) Along with a skipping demonstration during the lunch break.

We told the teacher she could run in two races but that was all. However, she continued to improve and protested that she was no longer sore, and could do everything just fine. We relented...

Today I received a call at lunch time from the teacher. She has hurt her hip to the point of tears. Sigh. She had gone in quite a few events, but the strain was just too much. She was told to relax and sit the rest of the day out. The teacher was going out to tell her she could turn the rope in the skipping but was not to participate.

Him says he will be speaking to her tonight about his disappointment she went behind out back and did more than we actually let her. I was just worried she has done some more damage.

....the teacher did also mention that she broke the high jump record though....(that's my girl!)

Life's Little Hot Chocolates

Well, its been a couple of weeks since the doctor's visit. I am off to see the dietitian tomorrow. Not sure if I am looking forward to that one. I have been, for the most part, trying very hard this time. It will be interesting to see if I have lost half a kilo or something similar. The only problem is that it is a late afternoon appointment so I will have a whole day's worth of munchies to add to the weight.

However, after being told to lay off the hot chocolate at the doctor's visit, I have. But you know, I reckon he was thinking I made it with all milk. I actually don't use much milk, about 1/3 of a cup. And I use artificial sweetner. The chocolate is usually of the low fat variety (though the one in front of me at the moment is full strength, naughty me, but I felt rebellious!). Anyway, for the most part I have been good.

I am definately eating less, and my choices are a little better most of the time. I am going to go back onto the Optifast diet shakes and bars for two meals a day, starting as soon as I can get to the chemist. Hopefully that will kick start things off again nicely and give me the right incentive to really work at this. I was supposed to have lost this weight by this month, but failed miserably at that. Hopefully I can by Christmas (when there is the threat of a blister arriving from northern regions :-) ). Fingers crossed anyway!